My own worst enemy

Yesterday I had a dark epiphany. That's right I realized that in the next 4 months I'm going to be "that guy."

So we board our 100% filled Washington to London flight and proceed to row 39 seat you're f'ed straight to the back of the plane. Once seated, I'm just about overrun with anxiety. Critical questions arise:

-will I be blocked in by a whale?
-will there be a group of loud talkers? you know the drunken college pricks that think you want to hear their conversation.
-OR worst of all will there be a baby within 20 rows radius of my location. I say worst because you can't REALLY complain about the baby like you can a fat person or drunkards. If you do, you are automatically branded an asshole. Worse yet, in order to maintain the "I'm not an asshole persona" you actually have to give at a minimum a half hearted smile.

Anyway, as you can already imagine, I spot 3 bogeys walking toward us (mother, father (wearing a body band) and screaming child). SHIT they just passed the 20 row threshold and were quickly closing in on my location. In the end, she sat directly in front of us. After my obligatory short broken smile and mouthing "what a cute baby," I grumpily shoved in my noise blocking earphones.

Immediately I felt a shiver down my spine, when I realized that in a few months it would be me, with Bindu and our mobile Loudspeaker/shitting machine.

I had a vision of all broken smiles/mouthing "what a cute baby"... please God don't sit next to me faces looking up at us as we walked down the aisle... MY OWN WORST ENEMY!

You know what's funnier? Call me selfish, but I couldn't care less about all those plane assholes. On 1 Jan, I felt our baby kick and it was one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. So to all you plane assholes (me included, by the way unless it is my kid, I will still harbor the same feelings) GO F YOURSELF!

If you sit next to me, I'm gonna ask you to hold on to the dirty diapers as I change the baby right next to you.

Love and happiness,

Pete